its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
