I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
