We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
