What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
