I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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