you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
