he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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