Christians are straight up FREAKS
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
nutella sex= disaster
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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