It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
