I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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