YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
