Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize