I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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