And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
