There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
