haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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