I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize