youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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