If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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