He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
