so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
