My nipple is on Facebook.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
