I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
