I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
