I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
