It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
