I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize