I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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