i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
