Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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