This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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