She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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