this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
