Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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