Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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