1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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