I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
