I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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