is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
