her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
