So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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