Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Houston, we have a blender
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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