idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
