Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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