I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The uberlube is also flammable
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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