please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
