Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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