Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
