just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
