That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Your tits are I can't wait for
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
