So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
