it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
false alarm, still single
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize