so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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