Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Randomize
