You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
