This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
