Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
