I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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