dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
if only i could text you this smell
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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