i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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