I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
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