Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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