We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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